What is the first thing that came to your mind after reading the title?
For the record, i never gave this a thought of changing myself. It was actually that particular day which changed me and my life.
Everything was fine back then. I was having a stable life with wonderful people around. I used to wake up to their happy faces. You know, I still remember those special little things that used to make me so happy. Those friday outings, long drives, late night movies, shopping, dinner together and much more. How realistic this can be that one day you wake up and get to know that your life is shattered? It is horrible to know that you won’t be able to actually see or talk to that one person you loved the most. It’s more difficult to accept the fact of their absence. Isn’t it?
What would have been your reaction when something that you haven’t even imagined in your worst nightmares happen to you? I became quiet. My mind was processing things that my heart was refusing to accept. I was in denial; I couldn’t believe that my father was no more. I had never imagined that anything could ever affect me so deeply, that my whold world would collapse overnight. At that very moment, it was a self realization that i can’t be that same lil girl anymore. I lost that very person who used to treat me like a princess, who supported me in everything i used to do, gave me the best advices i blindly trusted upon and loved me for who i am. I grew up that day! Things changed for me as well as everyone who was close to him(i.e. my family).
Losing a loved one to death can drain you emotionally. It’s incredibly challenging to get your head around the idea that you’ll never see that person again. My father had been my one true source of emotional support, someone who understood me and made sure i felt loved. That support had now been wrenched away from me, and that thought of having to go on without him was unbearable. At that time, I simply wanted to retreat into a shell and hide , refusing to accept the truth, but i also knew that eventually i would have to resume everything and face the everyday reality of my life. I needed to accept that life moves on. I found comfort in the realisation that death couldn’t erase the time that we had spent together. And maybe with time i’ll learn to live with those memories.
Some walks you have to take alone. Right? It’s something like that only. Anyone who goes through this similar kind of loss is not able to share all their emotions and feelings with anyone. Atleast this is what i feel. But believe me, the things you go through makes you stronger. Not in a way that you won’t miss that person or won’t feel their absence but in a way that you faced that fact and you are still standing!
There will be very painful moments in your life that will change your entire world in a matter of minutes. These moments will break you, tear you apart and change you.
Let them make you STRONGER, SMARTER and KINDER. But my friend, don’t you become someone that you don’t want to be. CRY…SCREAM if you have to. Take a Break. Then you stand again and move on. Never be so hard on yourself. Dealing with life, everyday stuff and emotions can be tough but you’re a brave soul on a mission. YOU GOT THIS.
Our experiences teaches us alot. The thing i learned that calms me down in any situation is to find something positive in every negative. Everything happens for a reason and now, at this point i do believe it. Finding a positive calms us down , makes our understanding better, gives us hope and we can analyze that situation with patience and calmness.
For example- i found myself, i found my talent of writing in all this. I express my emotions way better in my writings and people who know me definitely has an idea of it. See, i found a ray of hope. Can’t you?
You have to trust me on this that If you ever find yourself in a situation where you feel that all your roads are blocked or all your doors are closed, you will definitely have another road or a door opened for you which will lead you to a better destination. You just have to look around yourself and trust the process.
Just as gold requires the heat of fire to be refined and purified, our lives are wrought with struggles and trials which refine and strengthen our character. You always become a better version of yourself after facing any difficulty in your life. Just Believe in yourself. Have Faith. And do what you feel is right.
This is Muskan.. Signing Off!